April 11, 2014

Isn't it ironic?

That was the name of the hit single by Alanis Morissette. 

There was a particular time in my life when I listened to it over and over and over again.  

I listened because it made me smile and shake my head...and I think realize that what happens next is all in the response. How you deal with what life hands you...

It certainly helps to have a good sense of humor.

And to laugh. 

To laugh a lot.

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's a death row pardon, two minutes too late

And isn't it ironic...don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought...it figures

Irony is giving yourself a big...purple...bruised...swollen...fat lip in a "raking accident" (I'll explain later) the same day that your Christian Dior Lip Plumper arrives in the mail.

Indeed.

It is definitely big.

Definitely purple and bruised.

Definitely swollen.

Oh....and it hurt. OUCH.

Trust me.  There will be no "Selfie" on this one.

I had gone outside yesterday afternoon to pick up the leaves Mom had raked the night before with the goal of uncovering the sprouting crocus. Piled them high onto the two wheel wagon and maneuvered it into the woods, over brush and twigs and branches, to unload on top of one of the many mounds we've made into homes for various woodland creatures.

I'd been having trouble with the handle on the wagon. One side would pull out from it's brackets, making the handle uneven.  It was difficult to get back into place because the metal had rusted, so the last time I used it, I oiled it and forced the handle back into place.

There should be something holding the handle where it is supposed to be.  I need to take a closer look to see if I can fix that, but in the mean time, it continued to move in and out of place.

When I took the wagon into the woods, the wheels became stuck on a small tree that had self-planted like hundreds of others.  I turned around, put both hands on the handle and gave it a mighty tug.  The metal bar gave way, out of the brackets, and came straight for my face, hitting my lip and mouth with all the force behind that mighty tug!

Ugh. Makes me flinch to think about it.

Ow. Ow. Ow. 

Those expressions of pain got louder and louder, as I bent over in slight agony, clutching my mouth.

I could feel my lip swelling immediately, but my first concern was for my teeth.  As far as I could tell, they were all still where they were supposed to be.

I was able to confirm that quickly when I got into the house and to the bathroom mirror.

That is when I heard a light knock on the porch screen door. "UPS, with a package."

And there it was. A very small package from Sephora (the everything beauty store). 

Inside?  My lip moisturizing treatment or as it is more appropriately described: "Lip Plumper."

I smiled.

And BOY, did THAT hurt.

O.K., maybe just one Selfie.