March 13, 2014

A feather from my sister's dearly departed Peacock, Percy.

I signed on to my Unemployment Benefits online account this morning. I guess I’m a bit eager to see whether or not I’ll qualify for a new claim. I know for certain that there hasn’t even been a vote yet on the proposal. I just thought, naively, that the government might be a step ahead of the game and send out some kind of “this might happen and here’s what you should do when it does” email alert. Alas, it is not true.

The job market seems to have opened up a little, well…at least specifically for the kinds of things I might be looking for. I applied for an online position with a respected and important newspaper in the Northeast. I didn’t have a good feeling about it and I have learned to trust my instincts, and those feelings.  A friend even promised that a friend who is married to a very good friend of the person doing the hiring would “put in a good word” for me, which I’m certain they did, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere. I appreciate the thought and the effort. I really do.

I also applied for a newly created position with another very respected news organization, this also based in the Northeast that I am very excited about.  I had a “video chat” with one of the people who will be making the hiring decision.  I honestly have NO idea how it went.  I was a bit nervous, not about my skills or experience or ability to do that job, that I am certain about.  I would be exactly what they are looking for, could do exactly what they want that person to do. I’m confident in that. And it would be so much fun. Such a great organization to be a part of. But I was nervous still. And I had just semi-recovered from 2 days of eating nothing and spending the entire previous day in bed, sick. I can’t remember a single coherent thought that I might have expressed. I’m a little worried about that and tempted to send off an email explaining the same. But I have decided to be patient and hopeful on this one.

And then I applied for another position…in the Northeast. A magazine and online publication, but the job description was a bit difficult to understand and the title a little more confusing. The skill set required matches mine, although mine exceeds it in experience. Not sure about this one, but really thought I should take it further before deciding. It’s a solid company with good benefits. Just not certain if it’s that new rewarding career I was seeking so fervently this time.

I’ve been busy. Sending resumes, crafting cover letter after cover letter, and waiting. Waiting for replies or even the slightest acknowledgement. This is a very solitary activity, this job hunt.  There’s no one to ask what to do, no one to give you advice, tell you if you are doing the right thing, if you nailed the cover letter or sounded like a nincompoop. 

And every time I even try to have a conversation with my Mother about what I’ve been doing, with the goal of moving back out of her house, Harry suddenly needs every second of my attention. He doesn’t like to share me. It makes it incredibly difficult to communicate even the simplest of thoughts or a sentence of over 3 or 4 words. 

Sigh.

More on Harry…

We were laying in bed (our twin inflatables) with the stars projected on the ceiling by the turtle nightlight (and we were going to count stars as we do every night before going to sleep) but Harry suddenly explained that the stars needed to be cleaned. 

“How do you clean the stars, Sweetie? With soap and water?” 

And Harry replied, “No, Mommy, you clean them in a ‘star wash!'”

…….

When discussing his perpetual picky eating and trying to talk to him about foods that were good for him and would make him grow, Harry explained, “I just like good foods that aren’t bad.”

…….

It was 50 degrees! Fifty degrees on Monday, but that night we had 2 or 3 inches of new snow. Little balls of snow, not really snowflakes, that covered our 4-Runner overnight. I had been sick in bed all day and hadn’t felt like going outside to put it into the garage.  Mom assured me that there “wouldn’t be any major weather and that it would be just fine outside for one night.” 

Huh.

We uncovered the truck and left for school.  The new snow had fallen on top of all the refrozen ice and that made it slick…again.  Our brakes failed a little coming to the stop sign at the end of Mom’s road, but we stopped in time, barely. When I started up again, our wheels were spinning and as we turned onto the county highway, we fishtailed, spun twice and ended up facing the opposite direction from where we had started.  “Now we’ll never get to school,” Harry said from the back seat. I assured him that we would be fine and as he started to get a little upset I continued to talk to him about what was happening and I maneuvered the truck back into our lane and back in the right direction.

“Mommy, are we gonna fall off the road again?” 

No, Harry, we are not.

……..

And some random thoughts…

The snow is melting, as I mentioned, and things are beginning to look very different here…and not exactly in a good way, at least not yet.  Spring is a messy time in Wisconsin, especially with the melting and freezing and melting and snowing and freezing and melting some more. The sand they use on the roads when it snows, ends up in everyone's yards and on top of the melting snow. And it's farm land. it's dirty. And it smells.

The patterns of melting snow.

Old branches with new snow.

There’s nothing like the spring spreading of liquid manure. I can’t even begin to tell you what that smells like.  So strong, you swear you could almost taste it. 

There is a prettier time of springtime here, it's just not now and it's not close.

I fear it's more like... June.

New animals and birds are appearing.  The Robin population has skyrocketed and the Opossum that was only suspected by the tracks it left in the new snow has made an appearance more than once under the bird feeder. Mom suspects raccoons have made it out of wherever they spend the winter and have begun to raid the cedar bird feeder, devouring quantities that the little birds and squirrels couldn’t possibly be eating.

Opossum under the bird feeder.

The snowmen that Harry and I built after one of the first good snowfalls (when we were still pretty excited about the idea of snow) has melted and refrozen several times. The big snowman is only really the bottom ball of snow with some tree branch arms sticking out. The little one doesn’t look like a snowman at all. I’m looking forward to them both being replaced by the green grass and the dandelions.  

Old snowman. New snow.

I hope to help Mom deal with her chronic mole issue in the yard this spring. She has some new fangled metal things that vibrate and make it unpleasant for them to reside where they have in the past.  She is, of course, not in favor of anything that might more permanently remove them from her yard, despite the incredible mess they make.

And it’s time to frequent the car wash, if I want our 4-Runner to keep running as it has so reliably for the past 16 years and doing it looking so good. One winter in Wisconsin has taken its toll, even garaged. I came home from the car wash the other day to find tiny rust granules trying to attach themselves to my shiny chrome bumper. I was horrified. I immediately went into the house and got a new SOS pad, got it nice and soapy, squeezed that out onto a clean wet sponge and returned to scrub the bumper of every last rust-resembling particle. It’s an ongoing battle. But one I won’t lose.

And by the way...I don’t lose many.

At the car wash. Yeah.