March 25, 2014

Last night, just a little while after sunset, we got a phone call from my brother-in-law. "Take a look outside," he instructed. I went to the front room picture window, pushed aside the curtains and looked out into the night. All that was visible was a bright spot where the barnyard light should be. It was as close to a white out as we have been in all winter. And it was snowing wildly.

Of course Mom had already warned of dark, snowy, storm clouds when she had returned from outside just minutes before. She was taking down the bird feeders (and putting them in the garage) so that the raccoons wouldn't feast all through the night leaving little to eat for the early morning birds.

This morning, it's sunshine and blue skies...with almost 2 inches of new snow on the ground.

Where I raked. Where I didn't.
(See March 21st post.)

Harry, shoveling the driveway.

View from "the office."

Seems Harry and I will be covered under Wisconsin-sponsored healthcare by the March 31st Federal Affordable Care deadline after all. I spoke with a very reasonable representative from the Capital Consortium and she agreed that just because some day, at some point in the future, I might not be a resident of Wisconsin, that I was, indeed, a resident now and (due to my current unemployment situation) would qualify for low cost or no cost healthcare for Harry and me.

Resolution. Love it!

Tomorrow, I'll be doing some research and preparation for my interview next week (the second video chat with more people and for a longer time - an hour). I really want to be prepared to WOW them, all 5 or 6 of them, in this video chat. 

I think this position shows real promise and could be a very good place for me to use the skills that I have acquired over my 29-plus years in visual journalism. It's a small team, but a good, strong, creative team and a very respected organization. I think that I would contribute a great deal, feel fulfilled professionally and even be happy there.

I'm really hoping this is THE one.

But, if it isn't...let's face it, I have to be practical.

I'm waiting for responses from other online applications that I've made over the last few weeks. I've gotten official confirmation...an auto reply, but hope that at least one of those four other position postings results in a second step.

More waiting.  Not my favorite thing.

To pass the time today, I'm back going through old boxes, sorting through and separating the prized possessions and memorabilia from the just junk.

It's garbage day tomorrow and it feels good to purge.

March 24, 2014

I guess I have to admit that my anxiety level is now steady at a somewhat higher level than it has been in the most recent past.

Time is flying by and the numbers in our bank account are shrinking with regularity.

I am back at the public library using the Internet.

The view from my cubicle: Adult Fiction.

I tried to write a blog post at home, uploading and posting photos with it, and it was a somewhat excruciating process.  Slow. Slow.  Slow.

I need to check my data usage today too, to make certain that it didn’t take all 10 GB (of my current allotment) to write, illustrate and post my last entry.

(Just checked - having the Internet at your disposal is pretty wonderful. Seems my weekend post used only a bit of data, but the speed was, as I mentioned, less than ideal.)

With no other obvious solution at hand, I will be regularly visiting the public library to use their speedy Internet connection, just maybe not every day.

The weekend absolutely flew by.

Even without the regularity of a 40-plus-hour workweek in between, the much-coveted weekend breaks, when Harry and Mom are not in school or at the office, seem so short.

We (Grandma and Harry and I) went for a walk in the big woods. Collected some eggs from my sister’s, who collected them from her hens. We went shopping at the grocery store; picked up another 50 pounds of black oil sunflower seeds for the birds at Farm & Fleet; went to the post office to buy stamps and to mail our Easter cards. (Harry placing the stamped letters one by one through the mail slot and then looking through the rectangular hole to see where each one had disappeared.)

Walk in the woods.

A little religion with our eggs.

Starter egg.

I submitted official applications for two more picture editing positions this morning.  The alerts appeared in my inbox over the weekend.

I am now applying for positions that list much less experience as a requirement than I have in the past and for positions that will probably be at pay scales much lower than my original expectations.  Our current situation pretty much demands that I be employed in the next couple of months. The next couple of months will mark a year of unemployment.

I went online last week to apply for healthcare coverage for Harry and I, as mandated by Obama Care. (March 31^st is the deadline for coverage.) I was directed to a state specific site for Wisconsin, where I was told that I might be eligible for some assistance with childcare costs and healthcare as well. I filled in the necessary forms and clicked submit.

I was surprised when I returned home that there was a phone message from the Department of Human Services for our county of residence.  I returned the call and asked for Kelly, the woman who had left the message so promptly after receiving my online application.  As I spoke to Kelly, she began with some questions. She asked if I was employed. I said no, I was still looking for a job. “Well, then you are ineligible for childcare. You have to be employed to get healthcare,” she explained quite matter-of-factly.

It’s ironic, isn’t it?  A single parent has to have a job to get childcare, but how does a single parent get a job without childcare? Another possible flaw in our government programs, I’m afraid.

I told her that I currently had my son in a home school, I was paying the fee and if being employed was the rule for childcare assistance from the state of Wisconsin? I understood the rule. She asked if I still wanted healthcare coverage. “Yes, it’s mandatory,” I said. She responded quickly, “Yes, I know.” “O.k. then, I still need healthcare coverage.” She explained that she would continue to submit that portion of the application.  I mentioned that I was still currently looking for a job, but that it would ultimately, probably not be in Wisconsin.

That…turned out to be a mistake.

I received a form letter in the mail on Saturday. I opened it and read that I had been denied my healthcare coverage request. Why? The reason was stated on the back of the form: “She says she will not be in Wisconsin.”

Sigh.

How can it possibly be legal, justified, or even make sense to deny a current resident of Wisconsin healthcare coverage because they may possibly…sometime in the future…probably…be employed in another state?  I am a resident of Wisconsin now.

Argh.

I have to call the Wisconsin Consortium today.  And then I’ll probably have to apply for an official hearing, appear before the board and state my case…the reason that I believe that I should qualify for Wisconsin-sponsored healthcare and that the denial was made in error.

Seriously?  What a waste of everyone’s time.

And I really don’t know what to do until that time.  Do I go online again and apply for healthcare in the open marketplace so that I'm certain to make the March 31st deadline?  Do I wait for the hearing in order to proceed any further? I really don’t know. And I am an educated consumer. What resources, what answers are out there for someone who doesn’t have the educational background that I have? I feel for everyone in the “system.” That’s where Harry and I reside at the moment.

It’s no place to be.

March 21, 2014

Spring flowers, blooming indoors.

The birds are worked up into a frenzy of song today.

I can hear their happy chirp, chirp, chirping in the sunshine.

I think they might sense that it’s supposed to top out at 50 degrees today. To put that in perspective for those of us that have been lingering in the polar vortex…I believe that would be 100 degrees warmer than the day of our coldest wind chill (50 degrees below zero) a few short months ago.

Hooray for sunshine, blue skies and climbing temperatures!

Sumac under Spring skies.

Harry and I have planted a few things to keep thoughts of spring inside too. Two mini greenhouses are at work, balanced on the glass table top of a croc pot, just below one of the living room windows.  They use coconut fiber to retain the moisture needed for the flower seeds to germinate and grow for the next two weeks.  There’s a clear plastic lid that creates a tiny greenhouse effect where the plants can be nurtured by humid temperatures and consistent moisture. We are growing orange and yellow zinnias, and multi-colored coleus (something bright and beautiful and they grow quickly, so almost immediately gratifying.) Little green shoots have already broken the soil.

I have also extended my green thumb to 14 little fiber pots holding the seeds of basil, rosemary, chives, cilantro, dill and sage. They are sitting in the window light on top of my office desk, soaking up the early morning sunshine. Those can be transplanted outside when the ground thaws, but I’m not really certain when that will be.

And then there are these little ceramic figurines that were planted with grass seed on our bedroom windowsill.  They are for little ones who might not have the patience for other growing cycles. The grass pops up after a day or two in bright light.  You can give the animals - we are growing an elephant, a hippopotamus and a monkey - a haircut and the grass will continue to grow…and grow…and grow.

An elephant, a hippopotamus and a monkey.

I was helping my brother pack more of the things that he has accumulated over the last five years living at the same little house on the lake, today.  He has progressively been moving to Chicago over the last month or so…paying two rents, which would be a burden to anyone, I think. 

He is a hunter and fisherman and appreciator of all things outdoors. The difference between what I had to pack when boxing up Harry’s and my belongings for storage, and what my brother had to pack probably couldn’t be further apart on the spectrum of possessions. Mounted deer heads and bear rugs, fishing poles, other sports stuff (including Green Bay Packer-related tchotchkes) and of course, man tools. There was the house, the garage and the basement all stuffed full of stuff. He was living with two other adult males and for anyone who wants to start a discussion about how women accumulate things?  Well, be prepared. All three of them were accumulators of things…not the same kinds of things...not shoes (although there were plenty pairs of boots and waders and steel-toed this and that) or clothes (camouflage was everywhere) or fine china (lots of shot glasses and beer mugs)…just, a lot of things…guy things. 

Possessions of my brother, the outdoorsman.

Some time has passed since I wrote what is above and what I am writing now.

I decided that it would be a good idea to spend most of the day in the out of doors. With the temperature approaching 50 degrees, and the bird’s chirp, chirp, chirping, a welcoming sound, it seemed the thing to do. 

I would get a jump on the yard work, even though there is snow predicted early next week. It certainly couldn’t hurt. We didn’t get the last of fall’s leaves (it was actually a lot more than just the last leaves of fall…) raked up before the snow came, so we are actually quite behind on the yard work.

I got the wooden cart (with two wheels the size of bicycle tires) out of the garage and set about raking. And raking. And raking.

For five hours, I raked. 

Taking load after load after load (seven in all) to the woods to dump on top of the leaf and branch piles that have become our own homemade habitats for the woodland creatures. 

Home for the woodland creatures.

Wet leaves are really, really, really heavy. Really heavy.

And then there are the twigs.

Thousands and thousands of them.  It most certainly must be because of the kinds of trees that Mom has around the yard.  They drop twigs and tiny little branches…everywhere.

It seemed when I had already raked and loaded and carried and dumped leaves for a couple of hours that I just wouldn't be able to physically finish what I had set out to finish. My arms were aching and fatigued. My lower back stiff and sore.

But, I had a goal. 

So, I kept pushing, having little pep talks with myself along the way. Trying to convince myself that there was actually less geography to complete my goal than it seemed.

I started back behind the house, raked behind the garage (at least to a point where snow still covered the ground) around the side of the garage and to the front side yard, where the split rail fence separates the lawn from the road. That is ONLY about ¼ of my Mother’s yard, honestly.  One quarter of her yard and it took me 5 hours to finish it!

But I did finish it...

I was exhausted.

Where I raked.  Where I didn't.

When I brought Harry home from school, we sat in a chair in the corner of the living room (he on my lap) and we stuck Peter Rabbit stickers into his Peter Rabbit sticker book.  Every time he spoke, he startled me awake. Every time there was just a mere moment of silence, my eyelids drooped and slowly closed.

The thing is…it felt good.  Good to be so exhausted that I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open...to have taken in so much fresh air in one afternoon...to be so physically spent.

There is plenty more lawn and a gazillion leaves and twigs to haul to the woods. I’m looking forward to getting it all done, really. 

So good to have sore muscles.

So good to clear my head in the fresh air.

So good to accomplish something so needing accomplishing.

March 19, 2014.

It snowed overnight.

Sigh.

Mother Nature is apparently confused, as you can see by today's date.

Our very old snowman, new snow.

There was new animal activity overnight by the bird feeders. Mom says it's the time of the year when the raccoon families emerge from where ever it is that they have been all winter and completely devour every last seed in the cedar feeder. She's warned me not to fill that feeder late in the afternoon, because the masked bandits will consume every last seed by morning.  

The raccoon tracks led from the feeder around the front of the house, across the front steps, down the front sidewalk, past the garage doors, across the lawn and into the woods. The raccoon apparently encountered another animal whose tracks we couldn't quite determine as well as the occasional bird. I'm sure, though, that they are used to crossing paths (literally) with other creatures when they are out and about, just as we wouldn't find it unusual to pass by another human.

Tracks in the newly fallen snow.

$37.19.

That's what the repair of my 4-Runner cost.  I LOVE my mechanic (love, of course in the most "he's my mechanic and he repaired my sole form of transportation very cheaply" sort of way.) I think I'll keep him.

The Internet. Ah, yes, the Internet.

I went online (back at the Public Library, of course) and increased my data plan for my cell phone, from 4 to 6...up to 10 GB.  That's a lot of data. The 10 GB plan claims that you can send 10,000 emails (I send slightly fewer...), listen to 30 hours of music and watch 20 hours of video.  My use doesn't come anywhere near those figures, but I didn't think I came anywhere near the figures listed for 4 GB either.  The 4 GB plan boasts 2,000 emails, 15 hours of music and 8 hours of video, and I seem to use that up with regularity, although I would note, for the record, that I don't listen to music, nor do I watch videos. I send emails (not thousands) and I surf the web...job sites.

I increased my data plan so that I can use my cell phone as a hotspot and access the Internet at Mom's that way.  Rather than trying to bury a cable, dig a hole through the permafrost for a satellite pole or clear cut the Black Walnut trees in the backyard for a "clear view of the southwestern sky," I decided to spend the extra money on the shared data plan I already have and see IF that will meet my temporary needs. 

We'll see.

I applied for another position today...online. I am extremely overqualified for it, but it happens to be at the organization that I have dreamed of working with since I was practically a child; and have since, as a grown professional, applied to for a couple of different positions. The salary that goes with that "1 to 3 years of experience position" is probably unworkable for a single parent in DC, but we'll soon be out of money and I have do something. 

I'm not desperate.

I'm not panic stricken.

I'm just thinking that I should cast a wider net and see what I catch.

I also went online at healthcare.gov and applied for coverage for Harry and I, adding to the surreal experience that unemployment has become day to day.  Because I have no income, no unemployment benefits and no other source of money, we would possibly qualify for free healthcare, but the state of Wisconsin has to decide that based on the information that I provided through the system today.  We'll know in 30 days. That, of course is beyond the mandated deadline of coverage by March 31, but allowed because of our current state of affairs.

I have a second interview, another video chat, next week. 

Fingers crossed.

It's just life as usual these days...only...everything in it, is not as usual.

Everyone needs a hug sometime.

March 17, 2014, Slightly later that same day.

I left the Public Library (shamelessly using them for the Internet…again) and headed to Highway 90-94 and that real US Cellular location, a 30 to 40 minute drive.  I had traveled just a few miles, when I decided to set the cruise control. It’s an easier drive, especially with big rubbery snow boots! As my 4-Runner started accelerating, I heard this unbelievable loud, growling motor. I looked around to find the source, expecting to see the meanest, baddest, biggest pack of Hell's Angels on Harleys descending upon me from behind. But there was no one. No one. Anywhere. 

It didn’t take me long to realize, that it was me! Well…it was my 4-Runner.  My incredibly reliable, quiet running 16-year old 4-Runner.  (I have been known to try to restart the already running engine, because it’s so quiet.)

It is NOT quiet now.

I started to pray, “Please Dear Lord, don’t let it be anything major. We really can’t afford to pay for anything like that and I certainly can’t afford a new car or truck or anything. Please get me to the only mechanic and garage that I know here and get me there safely. And please, oh please, oh please, let it be minor.”

I had to drive 8 to 10 miles before there was a turn around that would send me back in the direction of that one mechanic and that one garage. And I kept repeating my prayer. “Please, please Lord, nothing major with the 4-Runner. Get me there safely. Nothing major.”

Obviously that kind of crazy loud sound has to do with the muffler, right?  I imagined what it might look like under the chassis after one winter trapped in the polar vortex in Wisconsin. The salt and sand used to combat the snow and ice having eaten away the raw metal, causing corrosion and rot on my already years-warn undercarriage.

Sigh.

I did make it safely back to town and to the mechanic and the garage. I parked and went inside and there he was…my mechanic, covered from head to toe in grease and oil. He’s checked my levels (again…the 4-Runner’s, not mine), and changed my oil once, but I feel an affinity toward him. He’s a nice, small town, seems-to-be-honest, mechanic.

I explained what had happened. He told me that he was really pretty booked up until midweek.  I asked him if he might “squeeze me in” (the 4-Runner, not me) easier, if I left it there? He agreed that it would be a possibility, so I set about making that happen. 

A quick call to Mom and we had a plan.  I would walk back to the Public Library (a cold day for a walk with the wind chill hovering around 18 degrees), we would wait until her office partner returned from her lunch so that she could leave, she would drive to town (her office is just outside town), pick me up at the library, we would stop back at the truck to get the car seat for Harry, drive back to her office, drop her off, then I could go get Harry after school and take him home, and both of us drive back to pick her up from work when the day was over. Whew!

When I walked back toward the 4-Runner after leaving my keys with the mechanic. I saw something hanging from under the truck…and it wasn’t a huge metal piece like the muffler or pipes or whatever.  It was a simple thick wire-like thing with something attached.  I walked back to add the information to my case. The mechanic stuck his head out the door to take a look.  “I have no idea what that is,” I said.  “I do,” he answered with certainty. “It looks like the oxygen sensor. And if that’s what it is, this is even simpler.” 

Hooray!

We will have to wait for the official diagnosis (as Harry says after he’s examined a patient while playing Doctor) but it seems that it might be a simple repair. And then it’s back on the road to drop that device, tomorrow.

Oh, and “Thank You, Lord.”

“Thank you.”

The back window of our 4-Runner.
Lovingly adorned with representations of Harry and me.